Discipline, Part 1

Don’t worry, I’m not talking about disciplining Evangeline…yet. 🙂

I’m talking about discipline for myself. Or maybe, my lack thereof. I struggle every single day to make myself do the things that I know I should be doing, but for some reason don’t want to do (anyone else reminded of Paul?). They are not painful things. (Ok, exercise can be painful.) They’re just things that I feel are important to living a healthy life, spiritually and physically. And things that are important in my quest to continue “becoming excellent”.

I started reading ‘The Discipline of Grace’, and was so thankful for just the first few chapters, because they fit exactly with how I’ve been feeling regarding my lack of discipline. The author writes about how we seem to have it in our mind that if we have a bad day spiritually, God will withhold blessings from us because of that. And if we have a good day spiritually, He will be more likely to bless us. This isn’t true though. Even if we completely understand that we are saved by grace, we forget that we are also to live by grace. Praise the Lord for this, because I need all the grace I can get. Thinking about it, I’ve realized that some of the biggest blessings I’ve received have been on days I’ve deserved them the least.

All that to say, while I want very badly to do better at being disciplined, and I do feel that it is a matter of bringing glory to God in all that I do, I am not writing this because I necessarily feel guilty (anymore). I am writing because it’s nice to get it out there, and to have some “virtual” accountability. And maybe even be able to encourage someone else who lacks discipline.

I’ll write posts over the next few days about things I want to be more habitual about but haven’t because of lack of discipline.

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The Never-ending To-Do List

I usually like to-do lists. They keep me on track and I love that feeling of checking stuff off. The best part is when I look at the list and realize everything is done and I can have some relax time without feeling guilty!

Recently, however, I have developed a never-ending to-do list of things to be done before moving day. It is stuck up on the refrigerator, taunting me all day long. Half the time I add something to this list without checking anything off that day. I loathe this list. It makes me feel overwhelmed, unaccomplished, and guilty whenever I’m doing something that’s not on the list.

I also have this terrible tendency to just not do anything if I feel like I can’t do everything. I don’t know why this is. I think it has connections with my tendency to not want to play games if I can’t win, or answer questions I’m not 100% positive about, or try anything that I am pretty sure I’ll fail at…ok, it’s called pride.

Lord, in the middle of my overwhelmed, unaccomplished, guilty, prideful, worried and tired life, help me to remember to be still and know that You are God. You will not give me more than I can handle. Everything on my to-do list will eventually be done, and even if it’s not the world will go on. Thank you for giving me peace beyond understanding and the strength to do what must be done. Thank You most of all that I do not need to do anything to receive grace and salvation from Jesus…He finished that list on the cross.