I have two things that I wanted to confess here…things that I’ve felt convicted about in the past week. They are very much connected, and the first I’ve already written about once!
1. I still feel the need to be the “perfect housewife”, at least subconsciously. I had a dream about putting the laundry away last night! Even though I know that there’s really no such thing, and that my idea of “perfect” usually comes from books, movies, etc., or from someone else’s home who is not me, I still struggle with feeling guilty about things not done.
2. I think this perfectionism causes me to get super defensive at any small criticism! I know how much Adam loves me and doesn’t ever mean to hurt my feelings, but every time he makes any little suggestion about how I should cook something or clean, I get pouty and upset. It’s so silly! I know that it is pride…the need to always be right, along with wanting to be “perfect”. When I realize something I did doesn’t seem perfect to him, it crushes me.
So, those are my two confessions. I have no real solution except to pray that God changes my heart. Or possibly some godly ‘longer married’ advice?